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Sample ESSAY

  • HAAS
  • COLUMBIA
  • MIT Sloan
  • Kellogg

HASS MBA

I’d like to work for international consultancy corporations like Deloitte upon graduation. As a risk management analyst at F1 Corporation, I have gained plethora of professional experiences through numerous projects. However, this faculty was limited primarily with domestic projects, but, working for Deloitte with global outreach with projects varying in size from local to global and from small to large would add new dynamics to my professional career.


During my employment at F1 Corporation, I have analyzed and consulted in risk management for several financial institutions with different data formats. In fact, one of our major clients, the Industrial Bank of Korea utilizes very standardized and complete data while Busan Bank, a rural bank, are predicated on financial products and data formats very different from ones in Seoul whereas the National Agricultural Cooperative Federation, with a customer pool of mainly affiliation in the agricultural business and industry, the data is very incomplete, with limited empirical sources as data gathering has only recently been recorded and analyzed.


However, despite these discrepancies in the accessible pool of data, I have experienced in pulling and organizing big financial, time-series data, analyzing them using different parametric and non-parametric statistical methods such as ANOVA with Duncan/Tukey, data-mining (regression analysis), and Kruskal-Wallis for estimating discount rate for defaulted assets and risk associated with those defaulted assets. I believe this experimental spirit is one of the key competitive advantages I have against my peers. In fact, as a consultant, I worked on my projects as if I was an employee of the client’s company. I stress delivery of the best solution and therefore, carry great passion and possess critical thinking. Also, to supplement the insufficiencies in data, I have exhausted my resources, both personal and professional, to deliver the optimized analytical solution for my clients.


In addition, another core value as a risk management consultant is Professionalism. While this cannot be developed over a short period of time, I believe I have the necessary level of professionalism to satisfy the standards set by leading corporations like Deloitte because of my diverse background. First, my exposure to both the Asian and American culture as a Korean American studying in the United States and working in Korea will allow me better understand and provide for our clientele. Also, I will be able to work alongside colleagues from across the globe, where I would contribute to this professional group through my exhaustive experiences in the Korean market, a newly emerging economic and financial center in the world. In addition, due to my diverse upraising, I am confident and versatile in adapting to new environments and changes because it has been part of my life. In fact, different banks have different data formats and products. Therefore, models need new perspectives and changes, and my professional career has been driven around readjusting and providing new solutions to fit the different needs of the institution, which has been both professionally and intellectually rewarding. Therefore, I believe I can serve as a consultant who welcomes changes and challenges and delivers solutions. In order for me to better contribute to Deloitte, I need to widen my knowledge in the business area. Especially with the innovative energy of Haas School of Business with its emphasis on leadership and global connection will be a great fit for my pursuit for international career in consulting. In this way, I firmly believe my paths tie to the mission of Haas School of Business.


COLUMBIA MBA

“There is no free lunch.”


Growing up with a dad who is an economist, my life was governed by the simple rules of economics like “Give-and-Take. Therefore, nothing came free. And this conformity to the principles of economics began to shape my life, training me to adapt to the rules of our market driven capitalistic society: “any individual has a chance at becoming what he wants if he worked hard enough for it.” And “the commodities that come from his success belong to that sole individual because he is the one who worked for it.”


High schools require certain minimum hours of volunteering to graduate, but this concept at the time was against my naive principle because my labor results in no tangible rewards. However, I did not have a choice as it was the rule, and decided to join an environmental group based in Los Angeles that was involved in cleaning up the streets and beaches, feeding the homeless, and other activities that promoted better health of the Los Angeles County. Initially, it felt good because I met and mingled with new friends from different high schools. However, out of the blues, I was confronted with an experience that would change the projectile of my life.


It was 5 o’clock in the morning, and I was getting ready to volunteer at Compton. The line was already reaching over two blocks. While I was overseeing distribution, supplies, and manpower, horrendous sights began to appear. A homeless with a thick metal bar sticking out of his stomach, a pregnant woman bearing wearing ripped t-shirt, an old man whose eyes were greyed out carrying brand new Bible, and a youngster trying to sell a broken monitor. These homeless people were so severely damaged and uncared for that I could not believe that such people existed in the same county - Compton seemed outlawed and neglected, with the suffering of its people forgotten by the rest.


Before, I thought United States was a land of opportunity for all. But these opportunities did not exist here in Compton. It was in a bubble of chaos, waiting to burst, and unless someone took notice, the balance of the community was going to break. I lived my life thinking that the center of my life and my success is sole a product of my effort. However, after visiting these sites, I realized that my life and my success exist because the framework for my community still stands.


This experience helped me to take a step back and contemplate on my success: it wasn’t a simple economic formula anymore – my goals and achievements were possible because of the bedrock of my community. I was the byproduct of the community, the nest for the so called “land of opportunity.”


When my life became less about myself and more about others, ironically it seemed to become richer. There seems to be more than just personal success to life.


Example, MIT Sloan

The MIT MBA program at Sloan School of Management is unprecedented in its emphasis on balancing academic excellence and collaboration through diversification. While many applicants would exhibit top-quality credentials, I believe successful candidacy to the programs lies in the fundamentals and philosophies behind these ‘on-paper’ achievements. And, based on both my personal and professional experiences, I believe I satisfy these credentials, having the ability to utilize the educational opportunities presented at MIT. In the midst of professional developments, people constantly faced dilemma between professional and personal values. I too have had faced such challenges: Yes, I have worked diligently, and, worked late hours as to meet the demands of both corporate and personal goals. However, during the course of these pursuits, there was one value I could not sacrifice – my contribution to community. I have served more than 350 hours of community service and have even received Congressional Recognition and Presidential Award from George W. Bush. While from a purely efficiency argument, these 350 hours and more could have been either billed or used for strengthening my position in the corporation, the reason why I had continued these activities, helping me to prioritize the essential from the marginal, just as expressed through the best sellers ‘Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less’ by Greg McKeown. In addition, leadership is one of the most sought out traits today, regardless of the area of professional expertise. However, this is no more apparent in the field of business, as individuals are required exhibit and execute many of the leadership traits in their daily endeavors across all positions. To this end, at my current project, the requested data for our analysis was scheduled to arrive one month late. As a result, the time for our analysis was lost by one month. People were overworked and morale suffered. As the project leader, it was my job to get back on track. Although our analysis was delayed, our final deadline could not be delayed since the project had a finishing date by the contract. Therefore, instead of just waiting for the data, I rescheduled our analysis timeline in order to finish on time and prevent ourselves from being even more overworked at the end. Finally, we live in a world where ideas are on constant change. In fact, novelty and creativity has even become a social cliché where anyone and everyone proclaim these virtues. However, my understanding of innovation is slightly different: While we may be able to generate ideas on “WHAT,” in order to become truly innovative, I must be able to communicate the “WHY” with utmost simplicity. In fact, in the past, complexity was the rule of the game, where people used different jargons and juxtaposition of multiple functions. But, as we can see from the demise of many corporations, it is Simplicity that is at the heart of innovation in today’s influx of information society.


Example, Kellogg

The Healthcare 101 Series at Kellogg, aligned with experts aligned with the Health Enterprise Management at Kellogg is a pioneering opportunity in the MBA industry inviting future management leaders to incorporate knowledge in business to predict and prepare for the changing health industry of the future. In fact, my introduction to the healthcare industry is very personal having witnessed the aging of my grandparents suffering from Alzheimer. However, professional experiences at Edelman Korea, serving as a senior account executive, I found true business potentials in this field of health enterprises management, especially aligning information technology and big data. Therefore at Kellogg, especially through the guidance of world leaders like Professor Pete McNereny, I am excited to learn the changing environment and the market of the health tech industry as well as participate in the Kellogg Healthcare Club to successfully prepare for my career in the healthcare industry.


However, I am also aware from my professional experiences that ideas and passion alone aren’t sufficient to succeed. Today, we live in a world of big-data, requiring future managers to become more analytical and innovative in management and design. Therefore, through the MMM program, especially the rigorous Business Analytics and Applied Advance Analytics, I want to become versed in various analysis, especially that of data analysis, which will become critical in analyzing and suggesting new business models in the highly diversified and data-sensitive field of Health-Tech industry. Furthermore, due to the close client-business relationship of the field, Service Design and Innovation Frontiers will also become a forum of constructive preparation.


The Health-Tech industry is in its early stages of progression. However, its importance cannot be ignored, and based on my previous professional experiences, I am certain that this is the future path I want to explore. Therefore at Kellogg, I want to expand my professional experience with knowledge and skills I will gain from world leaders, helping me to mature both personally and professionally to one day become a true leader of the Health-tech industry, serving and satisfying the needs of the clients of today and tomorrow.


Editing Process

Student Version and Revisions

I’d like to work at Deloitte upon graduation. My current company has great specialty in risk management. However, it does not have the resources to take projects outside Korea. On the other hand, Deloitte has the resources to bring work to different countries that are big-scale. (Professional)
As a risk management analyst at F1 Corporation, I have gained plethora of professional experiences through numerous projects. However, this faculty was limited primarily with domestic projects, with limited access to global experiences. However, Deloitte has global outreach with projects varying in size from local to global and from small to large. Therefore, I am excited to manifest my professional skills by participating in large-scale global risk management projects by working for corporations like Deloitte

I have analyzed and consulted in risk management for several financial institutions-which all have different data formats (Industrial Bank of Korea – very standardized and complete data, Busan Bank – rural bank, financial products and data formats are very different from ones in Seoul, National Agricultural Cooperative Federation – customers are mostly ones associated with agricultural business, data is very incomplete and only recent data exists).
During my employment at F1 Corporation, I have analyzed and consulted in risk management for several financial institutions with different data formats. In fact, one of our major clients, the Industrial Bank of Korea utilizes very standardized and complete data while Busan Bank, a rural bank, are predicated on financial products and data formats very different from ones in Seoul whereas the National Agricultural Cooperative Federation, with a customer pool of mainly affiliation in the agricultural business and industry, the data is very incomplete, with limited empirical sources as data gathering has only recently been recorded and analyzed.

I have experience in pulling and organizing big financial, time-series data and analyzing it using different parametric and non-parametric statistical methods such as ANOVA with Duncan/Tukey, data-mining (regression analysis), Kruskal-Wallis for estimating discount rate for defaulted assets and risk associated with those defaulted assets. (Personal) As a consultant, I work on my projects as if I was an employee of the client’s company. I stress delivery of the best solution and therefore, carry great passion and possess critical thinking. Because of data limitations, I have worked 9am-10pm every weekday for 7 months at Busan Bank to provide solution for the missing data (we require a system that distributes assets to customer’s accounts, but Busan Bank did not have this system. So we ended up making the system ourselves).
However, despite these discrepancies in the accessible pool of data, I have experienced in pulling and organizing big financial, time-series data, analyzing them using different parametric and non-parametric statistical methods such as ANOVA with Duncan/Tukey, data-mining (regression analysis), and Kruskal-Wallis for estimating discount rate for defaulted assets and risk associated with those defaulted assets. I believe this experimental spirit is one of the key competitive advantages I have against my peers. In fact, as a consultant, I worked on my projects as if I was an employee of the client’s company. I stress delivery of the best solution and therefore, carry great passion and possess critical thinking. Also, to supplement the insufficiencies in data, I have exhausted my resources, both personal and professional, to deliver the optimized analytical solution for my clients. In fact, during the 7 month project with Busan Bank, I had devoted the entirety of this project, without break, in providing solution for the missing data - we required a system that distributes assets to customer’s accounts, but Busan Bank did not have this system. So we ended up making the system ourselves.

Professionalism is something that can be developed by few years of experience. However, I believe I am fit to Deloitte because Deloitte is distinguished by its diversity. My exposure to the Asian culture and American culture will let me better understand and provide for our clientele. Also, I will be able to work alongside colleagues from across the globe which will let me attribute by contributing my experience in Korea. Because of my diversity, one trait that I am confident in is adapting to new surroundings and changes because I have practiced it during my entire stay at my current company. As stated in the first paragraph, different banks have different data formats and products. Therefore, models need new perspectives and changes. I have worked to re-adjust and develop out models fit specifically to that institution. And from my past two years of experience so far, I have found it intellectually rewarding and fitting to my personality. Therefore, I believe I can serve as a consultant who welcomes changes and challenges and delivers solutions.
In addition, another core value as a risk management consultant is Professionalism. While this cannot be developed over a short period of time, I believe I have the necessary level of professionalism to satisfy the standards set by leading corporations like Deloitte because of my diverse background. First, my exposure to both the Asian and American culture as a Korean American studying in the United States and working in Korea will allow me better understand and provide for our clientele. Also, I will be able to work alongside colleagues from across the globe, where I would contribute to this professional group through my exhaustive experiences in the Korean market, a newly emerging economic and financial center in the world. In addition, due to my diverse upraising, I am confident and versatile in adapting to new environments and changes because I has been part of my life. In fact, as stated earlier, different banks have different data formats and products. Therefore, models need new perspectives and changes, and my professional career has been driven around readjusting and providing new solutions to fit the different needs of the institution, which has been both professionally and intellectually rewarding. Therefore, I believe I can serve as a consultant who welcomes changes and challenges and delivers solutions.

In order for me to better contribute to Deloitte, I need to widen my knowledge in business area. Especially with the innovative energy of Haas School of Business with its emphasis on leadership and global connection will be a great fit for my pursuit for international career in consulting. In this way, I firmly believe my paths tie to the mission of Haas School of Business.
In order for me to better contribute to Deloitte, I need to widen my knowledge in the business area. Especially with the innovative energy of Haas School of Business with its emphasis on leadership and global connection will be a great fit for my pursuit for international career in consulting. In this way, I firmly believe my paths tie to the mission of Haas School of Business.

Growing up with a dad who is an economist, from an early age I understood and lived by the rules of give and take and opportunity cost. If I wanted something I had to pay the right price. Therefore, I developed a mind very fitted to the capitalist society that I grew up in—any individual has a chance at becoming what he wants if he worked hard enough for it. And the commodities that come from his success belongs to that sole individual because he is the one who worked for it.
Growing up with a dad who is an economist, my life was governed by the simple rules of economics like “Give-and-Take. Therefore, nothing came free And, this conformity to the principles of economics began to shape my life, training me to adapt to the rules of our market driven capitalistic society: “any individual has a chance at becoming what he wants if he worked hard enough for it.” And “the commodities that come from his success belong to that sole individual because he is the one who worked for it.”

High school requires a certain minimum hours of volunteering to graduate. The concept of volunteering at the time was against my naive principle because my labor results in no tangible rewards. However, I did not have a choice. Going through the newspaper, I decided to join an environmental group based in Los Angeles that was involved in cleaning up the streets and beaches around Los Angeles, feeding the homeless, and other activities that promoted better health of the Los Angeles County. It felt good at first because I got to meet many new friends from different high schools from all around Los Angeles. However, one of these events really changed the way I viewed my life.
High schools requiresa certain minimum hours of volunteering to graduate, but this concept at the time was against my naive principle because my labor results in no tangible rewards. However, I did not have a choice as it was the rule, and decided to join an environmental group based in Los Angeles that was involved in cleaning up the streets and beaches, feeding the homeless, and other activities that promoted better health of the Los Angeles County. Initially, it felt good because I met and mingled with new friends from different high schools. However, out of the blues, I was confronted with an experience that would change the projectile of my life.

It was 5 o’clock in the morning when I woke up. Today was the Compton clean up. At 11 o’clock, I gave the opening speech and the feed began. The line was already reaching over two blocks at the start. While I was overseeing distribution, supplies, and manpower, horrendous sights began to appear. A homeless with a thick metal bar sticking out of his stomach covered barely by his skin. A pregnant woman who was wearing ripped t-shirt. An old man whose eyes were greyed out carrying brand new Bibles (seemingly, he could not read them). A youngster trying to sell a broken monitor for money. These homeless people were so severely damaged and uncared for that I could not believe that such people existed in the same county. Compton was a place where modern society’s law and order seemed to be absent.
It was 5 o’clock in the morning, and I was getting ready to volunteer at Compton. The line was already reaching over two blocks. While I was overseeing distribution, supplies, and manpower, horrendous sights began to appear. A homeless with a thick metal bar sticking out of his stomach, a pregnant woman bearing wearing ripped t-shirt, an old man whose eyes were greyed out carrying brand new Bibles , and a youngster trying to sell a broken monitor. These homeless people were so severely damaged and uncared for that I could not believe that such people existed in the same county - Compton seemed outlawed and neglected, with the suffering of its people forgotten by the rest.

Before I got involved in the group, I thought everyone who lived in the U.S. had a chance to become anyone he wants only if he tried. But that opportunity did not exist for these people. Then what if all the poor started a riot? Just until a hundred years ago, there were wars where people robbed and killed one another. Yet, today we live in such a peaceful society. And I realized that this is not something to be taken as granted. Unless someone takes care of the poor, the balance of the community is going to break. I lived my life thinking that the center of my life and my success is sole a product of my effort. However, after visiting these sites, I realized that my life and my success exists because the framework for my community still stands.
Before, I thought United States was a land of opportunity for all. But these opporunities did not exist hre in Compton. It was in a bubble of chaos, waiting to burst, and unless someone took notice, the balance of the community was going to break. I lived my life thinking that the center of my life and my success is sole a product of my effort. However, after visiting these sites, I realized that my life and my success exists because the framework for my community still stands.

This event made me take a step back from the focus on my own personal goals and achievements and to support and be thankful for the foundation that supports the society that I live in. My life does not consist of myself, it is rather just a tiny part of a community. And also, it is not just about helping the poor. It is about helping anyone, anywhere, anytime in your life.
This experience helped me to take a step back and contemplate on my success: it wasn’t a simple economic formula anymore – my goals and achievements were possible because of the bedrock of my community. I was the byproduct of the community, the nest for the so called “land of opportunity.”

When my life became less about myself and more about others, ironically it seemed to become richer. There seems to be more than just personal success to life.
When my life became less about myself and more about others, ironically it seemed to become richer. There seems to be more than just personal success to life.